The Hilarious Church EPS 89 (My Sunday Christian Memes)

Well, this has to be the fastest January in the whole of Januarys' existence 😂😂

Today, appreciate those people who have turned up for you in every situation you have found yourself in. Even if they served you in the littlest way, please appreciate them.

Another Day to give thanks unto the Lord, because He is who He is.

Ten ways to live in a better world, day by day.

To be like Jesus isn't just a walk in the park especially with our human nature, but it is very possible. You have to let go of your spirit man first and embrace the Holy Spirit.

Learning to put God first.
God doesn't need your money really😂, He has more than enough from where abundance comes from,the whole abundance Himself.
It's to teach us a lesson of loving, regarding and prioritising Him first before anything else.
Salaries have been or will soon be paid😂, don't forget to tithe Lovelings.

Please hear my heart Lord,
Anytime I can't form the words to tell you or cry out to you, please hear my heart Lord.
Anytime the pain or the anxiety gets so much and I can't utter a word of prayer, please hear my heart Lord.
Anytime I get lost within me and can't think of what to say, Please hear my heart Lord.

You have the whole Family Name of God right beside you, the whole Trinity guiding you, why should you fear? 
In everything, you should rejoice and brag in the Name of the Lord and confront anything head on, because the whole Family of God got you.

Oh you are so not the Father 😂😂😂!!!!!

Hallelujah 😂

If I was Noah, because of them I'll buy a very loud speaker and go to the deck after the rain has started. I'll now start screaming in the speaker, "The Lord has done it finally finally finally, you all have been shamed but guess who has been redeemed..Meeeeeeee!!!"
Then end it with one wicked laugh, I will still buy chain saw so that any tree that is still standing tall that they can climb to stay out of the flood, I'll lean from the deck and saw the tree off.
You dey laugh me!!!!
😭😭I see why I can't be Noah 😭😭.

The Hilarious Church EPS 88 (My Sunday Christian Memes)

HEAVEN IS MY HOME,

I'M JUST HERE RECRUITING GUYS.

PLEASE, JOIN ME IN RECRUITING MORE HOUSEMATES, SO WE CAN GET TO WINE AND DINE IN OUR NUMBERS AND NOT JUST US ALONE.

REMEMBER THE MORE THE MERRIER 🥂 

He actually gave you His when he died for you on the cross.
So if you are tired of yours, please kindly ask Him for His own that is already on standby waiting for you to just ask. 

 

Your sins are washed away!!!
Yes, even that one that seems like God can never forgive, He has washed it.
Yes, even that one that you knowingly and intentionally go back to, because you feel you can't help it or are "addicted" to, he can forgive it (but hey, you have to come into true repentance with Christ and take serious actions to stop that sin, it's not like Jesus can't forgive it, but if you always go with the mentality that "oh Jesus will forgive me for it", while that is true, you still commit "willful sin" and that's another sin on its own and a scenario in which you die while sinning, what happens then????).
It's better not to take things for granted, seek as much help as you need to stop that sin of addiction.
Addiction is a prison and we don't all like prisons now do we?

A lot goes on in our minds, our minds can be so chaotic, so noisy, so busy that it fails to hear the voice of God. Sometimes, it's a problem of not even knowing what the voice of God sounds like. But today, I'm here to tell you that God's isn't a God of confusion and He wouldn't confuse you into having to struggle for you to discern which voice is His. Once you hear the voice of the Lord, you undoubtedly know it's His. 
And I pray along with you, that may God silence your thoughts so you can hear what He has to say to you.

As agreed, we have our inner conflicts, confusions, mind noise and chaos, sometimes it's a sin that makes us to unintentionally run away from God. On so many levels we don't want to "run away" from God, but it gets to a point where you feel like you are too "dirty" to stand in the presence of God and you are just there not exactly without the presence of God and not also fully in the presence of God, because you don't want to leave God cause obviously you know you can't go anywhere 😂, and you are also not in God's presence because you feel unworthy. So you are there just living😂, not sinning (cause you are making evident moves to stop) while acknowledging that God is creator and king, at the same time not strengthening your life with God.
You are just there living righteous but not Holy😂.
It could be a an actual fight with God, like you are actually in that questioning and asking God for explanations phase😂, and you are not in good terms with God because you think he has "failed" (God never fails) to answer your heart requests), all the while still acknowledging that God is good and of his existence and reference, if you all get what I mean 
But in all that struggle, the good thing is, first in your heart of hearts, you know God is God and no one comes next to him. Two, it's a you and God struggle, even though you feel like you are far away from him, cause that's not how you would want your relationship to be, but still you are there in his presence with him fully acknowledging you and even in that struggle, you are still in his hands.

See how the second persons eyes looks angry and confused...that's how you easily identify someone without Jesus 😂.
Very angry people 😂, they always have no joy, no peace, they act like they are being pursued, they enjoy the misery of others (as I am saying this, some of you are picturing some people in your head, but it's okay I don't judge😂). Now if you don't want to be that person, accept Jesus Christ today, let him be your peace, joy and assurance of things that are seen and yet to be seen, so you don't be the one someone else will have in mind when talking about unnecessarily angry people😭.

Let it all go!!!
Let go and Let God.
Just like the picture shows, everything you have decided to carry and hold on to instead of God will only sink you and drown you and I'm sure you know what happens when someone drowns yea?
I almost drowned in a swimming pool when I was much younger and it wasn't a nice feeling😂, so nope, I don't want to drown.
I'ma just hold on to God's hand and let everything go.

And you will do that great assignment God has in store for you in Jesus Name,Amen.
It really doesn't matter how small, or how low class or how incompetent you might feel doing what you are doing. When it's time for you to shine and let God work in your life, nothing else you did or cannot do won't matter anymore.
You are not wasting your time, you are not wasting away, you are not insignificant, something good and something great will come out of you at the end, no matter how long it takes.
Just let go and let God!!!

Whilst, yes we want easy lives and God will also provide easy lives for us Christians, it's not all a walk in the park.
So many times in our lives it's going to be like a swim across the Atlantic while having to fight the 7 headed leviathan take 5 golden tooth from each of them, crossing the volcano afterwards and walk without sinking on top of the larva while fetching water from the ocean in a bucket to quench the erupting volcano at the same time running up the mountain Everest to pluck clouds and run back down to bury them on the ground and make sure a tree grows from the chunks of clouds you buried after running up and down like 1,567,7555, 777 times.
And in the end you just smile and hardly even remember you went through all that, because as impossible as it was you achieved all, cause God was with you and you are just happy to be still be counted amongst the living 😂.

Sighs, it's not easy I tell you.
You will see a lot, but then the joy is having to go back home not alone, but with millions of friends, s your stay forever at home will not be lonely and boring but full of feats (quite literally)

You areeeeeeee...
So make sure you attend the closest Bible believing church near you today.
And remember to tell someone today that Jesus Loves them..
#making joyful noises with my mouth 😂

The Hilarious Church EPS 87 (My Sunday Christian Memes)

 I HOPE WE ARE ALL ENJOYING OUR NEW YEAR?

WELCOME TO ANOTHER LOVELY TIME IN GOD'S PRESENCE TODAY.

(Throwing you all godly kisses😂😘)

Give up laz, there is no evidence 😭

The devil ain't worth your time!!!
Assimilate that statement, understand it and know peace.
Temptations always look like the best thing that can happen to you at that moment, but trust me it's the worst and one of the biggest rewards for it is guilt.
I don't know about you but one thing I dislike is feeling guilty!!!

And that's why Jesus came 2058 years ago(if my maths is mathing 😂), because if it was now😭, I think it would have been the first and the last coming 😭.

Everything this write up said 🥹♥️
He is just that obsessive lover, who would die (well he already literally died😂) for you

Forever ☀️ 

I always want to remind you that it's never by your own power nor will nor intelligence.
It's always been God, especially when you were going through those hardest moments, it was at that point he carried you on his back or wings... whichever😂. 
You were used to always seeing two pairs of footprints on the floor on your walk with Jesus and in those troubled moments you saw just a pair and you felt oh, Jesus has abandoned me, no no no Lovelings, that pair that you saw wasn't yours, it was that of Jesus, because you were on his back the whole time. He was saving you and taking care of you from the perils of the rough road.

Just pause and imagine this being said to you on the final day.....
The Joy oh my Father in Heaven,
Omo I'll just die from happiness, well I can't die since it's judgement 😂, but my point is, I would be so filled with Joy, I'll help Micheal and the Arch of Angels kill the devil and his minions in the final battle after the rapture 😭.

One day, I promise 🥹♥️ 
It's meant to be right now actually, if you'd calm down and look at how Good God has been in your life, but let's just say your life troubles are too overwhelming and are clouding your eyes, so much that you are failing to see that you being alive alone, breathing in free oxygen without assistance is His grace and not because you are Gojo Satoru ( not like Gojo is any mightier😭, but you get my point),You will know and do well to count and appreciate your days.

Only God's word can save you, not the man in the bush under a tree, not your CCTV, not the police, not your electric fence, not your pastor, not your dog and not anything you think I should have mentioned.
Come off it.

Read and know your Bible today.
#starts whispering#
As a non Christian reading this, don't you think it would be nice if you just...you know, sneakily downloaded the Bible app (I recommend "you version") and just read Revelation (it's the last book of the Bible), aren't you curious to just know what it even says? Start reading from chapter 4..shhhh no ones gonna know. I won't tell cross my heart. 

God's love is like oxygen, always available, it never runs out. It finds you in every corner.
Unless you are the one that goes to hide yourself in an airtight container, then for that one me I cannot help you 😭

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVELINGS

 IT'S 2025 LOVELINGS, I'm so glad you in particular reading this, made it to the new year. I'm so excited for what this new year has in store for us🥹. I believe it's gonna be a fruitful love story like no other, I mean it's 2025 and you still decided to worship with the hilarious church 🥹, what more can I say to prove that this is love?

Thank you for deciding to start this year with us again, we love you so much and we know Jesus loves you more. We bet Jesus is astounded to see that you are clocking in to spend a little time with him also.

We pray and believe in our Lord Jesus, that 2025 will be one full of testimonies for you in Jesus Name.

Hmhm, and how is that working out for you being the 5th day of January already 😂?
Though I can't be the only one who came into 2025 without a resolution yea?😭
And it's not even like I'm unserious fr😂

Samson: Avoid Women like the plague
Joseph: Never trust siblings 
Balam: Always pay attention to his donkeys movement 
Herod: Bomb the whole of Bethlehem and neighbouring countries next time
Zechariah: Never ever ask an angel questions

Please let me know in the comment what other Bible characters new year resolutions would be life changing 🤣

Don't worry, you are still welcome into the house of the Lord😂, even though we only see you on Christmas and new year days. Jesus still loves you, who am I to judge?😂🙌🏾
(But I'm sure He wants to meet you way more often, we gotta improve on that you know) 

My first Solid advise to you all for this new year is that you should just have Jesus and whatever you wanna eat in front of you(what doesn't give you problems), concentrate and enjoy his presence on the table with you, relax, laugh and cry over everything with him and just watch how the year is gonna turn out for you.
Always long for your table meets with Jesus and just imagine what Jesus is gonna bring to the table every time 🤭

In short, it's about how you live your life each day that counts and matters. Not the resolutions that don't even make it to the end of January 😂.
Hey I'm not against resolutions again, it's beautiful, I mean who doesn't want to feel brand new? 
But for how long are you planning on being devoted to that resolution? 
Okay, say you failed your resolution February, do you wait till January of the next year to make a new one and get your life back on track? Of cus not!! Everyday can be a new year for you once you decide in your heart to make that honest devotion at that moment.
 

It's also a new year to crack Jokes with the Lord and relax😂, Jesus wants to have fun with you okay? Let him.
Jesus makes jokes and He laughs too I promise.

I know God will bless you financially this year, and when that happens, I know you want to show some people pepper which is fine by me😂(no wait, before Jesus knocks me, showing them pepper in the sense that, you are dining on the table the Lord has set for you in the presence of your enemies ..Psalms 23), but as you are showing them the pepper please, don't forget that Jesus loves cheerful givers and you should please not forget to give to people around you, don't hold back on the blessings God gave you, give and it shall come back to you.
When you give, you sow a seed and you shall reap in plenty.
(I don't also mind you raising your standard of living as long as you don't compromise anything your Lord and Savior has told you not to do)

Most importantly, I know that so many people came out damaged from 2024, and maybe just like me you are thanking God for life😂.
I want you to know that, Jesus can heal all your wounds and make you brand new again.
All you have to do is just trust and believe in Him.

In 2025, God will do more abundantly than you have asked of him in Jesus Name, Amen.
All you have to do is believe in Him.
Ephesians 3:20 AMP
[20] Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us,

YOU WERE MADE ON PURPOSE!!!
Get that into your head everyday and know that you are not just existing for no reason.
You are here, right now, in this confused moment of your life for a God given purpose that is so big even you can't phantom.

Thank you for scrolling through till the end. Please share and tell someone about Christ today, let us all build a healthy Christian life and community together.

Jesus loves you all... (but I still remain His favourite 😌)